If John Smeaton isn't a Household Name by Friday...
then there's something wrong with the world. You must go visit http://www.johnsmeaton.com/ and donate a pint to the one man war on terror.

A notable exceprt from the comments page:

EO Says: July 2nd, 2007 at 12:48 pm
Some more things you didn’t know about our man here ….

• John’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
• Rather than being birthed like a normal child, John Smeaton instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.
• John Smeaton once flying kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
• John Smeaton sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, John flying kicked the devil in the face and took his soul.
• The chief export of John Smeaton is pain.
• John Smeaton lost his virginity before his dad did.
• After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending John Smeaton. His reasoning? It was more “humane”.
• One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death John Smeaton