Bracksy's pooping lesson Part 2
Select all answers that apply.

Bracksy's pooping lesson is:
	Of no use to me - I already know everything.
	Useful because I used to use the non-recommended techniques and couldn't work out why they were so messy.
	Confusing because it doesn't illustrate the technique I use everyday so I don't know whether it's good or bad.
	Unsatisfactory because the figures used aren't anatomically correct
	Useless because I can't read it whilst I'm squatting on the floor next to the dunny.
	Awseome because it has totally changed my life.
	Gutless because it doesn't take a stance on the "Reverse Kanga"
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Thanks for the Pooping Lesson Bracksey.
The call has been heard in Spring Street that we've got a skills shortage. In another hysterical move, the state Labor government has seen fit to start in the area of greatest shortage - toilet skills. I would have given my right arm to be on the project that produced the poster pictured above. Can you imagine the giggling? Half of each project meeting would have been spent rolling on the floor. I'm guessing that the department responsible is hitting new lows of productivity with staff taking days off with split sides. My GST dollars went into producing this joke and I want to know more about it.

Let's assume firstly that this isn't just a government department running off the rails trying to hit its massive bureaucratic waste budget for the year and that there was an actual need to teach the citizens how to use a dunny. Are parents no longer doing their duty and raising functional toilet going citizens? Have people forgotten and just 'wing it', so to speak, when the find themselves in the cubicle? I need to hear from people who have found these posters useful. Are we de-evolving as a species? Or perhaps there's something more sinister happening...

Some time in 2005 Channel Ten aired a programe called Big Brother. The show was all about a bunch of young Aussie nobel prize laureates, hand-picked to highlight the paradox of our elite, well-educated population, and elegant social culture against our under-developed economy characterised by low-tech, low value export of primary agricultural and mining products... I can't remember it that well but it was a great show and the nation is justifiably proud of its youth. At one memorable point in the show some bloke with a name like 'Meatballs' (I think he was a surgeon) initiated a nefarious campaign of lavatory abuse through the introduction of the "Reverse Kanga" position. I'm sure you can look it up on the internet somewhere and I assure you it is unorthodox. The popularity of the TV show would have inspired many copy-cat campaigns in Australian society generally. I suspect this may have been the impetus behind Victorian department of human services counteracting such crimes against porcelain. But if this is the case why has the "Reverse Kanga" not been featured on the poster? Also how is a poster supposed to work against a criminal? I suspect it will be just about as effective as the tonnes of paper produced every year by the Defpartment of Foreign Affairs urging our citizens to not carry illegal drugs in South East Asia becuase the authorities there will execute. To stamp out this sort of bathroom atrocity we don't need posters, we need legislation! The message must be driven home to our legislators - shit, or get off the pot.

Which of my opinions do you want to read about next?
	The benefits of public drunkenness.
	Sweeping problems under the carpet is a valid problem solving technique
	The major cause of skin cancer: sunscreen.
	Disorders that pharmaceutical companies will invent next.
	Mediocrity Vs Excellence: at home and in the workplace.
	Why everyone else should smoke.
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Opinion by Request on Global Warming.
Here's a glimpse of how much fun a carbon dioxide warmed planet will actually be. It's full of sand, sun and four-wheel-drives. Don't fear the greenhouse effect - embrace it. Too much emphasis is placed on downsides by fringe lobby groups who are deaf to the bitching and moaning by most people about how cold winter is. In fact every year people die of cold - global warming might just be the biggest lifesaver after penicilin, and it will save me the cost of earplugs.

It's about time those tree-huggers got consistent about carbon dioxide emissions. Either they stand in the pro-tree camp or they don't. If I was a tree I'd want several things so I can go on happily photosyntesizing and one of them is carbon dioxide - I'd (as a tree) be happier if there was more carbon dioxide in the air. Secondly I'd prefer to live in a nice comfortable greenhouse rather than the cold and scary outside world. So if you're a environmentalist in the pro-tree faction I urge you to reconsider your stance on Kyoto, carbon dioxide etc...

There shall be more on this topic...

World debt holds steady at $0.00
And until we make contact with lenders from other planets... and them Martians offer an attractive debt consolidation package and long distance phone plan I figure it will stay that way. I just worked that one out, figure I'm pretty clever and I've just ripped off a headline from The Onion. Thanks Lindsay, this whole opinion by request thing might have some legs.

Is Bagging 'Life Coaching' Too Easy?
If you purport to be a 'Life Coach' you probably wanted to be in modelling/acting/whatever but were too fat/ugly/untalented and by the time reality dawned, the sun had already set on your prospects of actually developing a useful skill - except, perhaps, your talent for spouting bullshit. The formative years spent stunting your abilities in rational analysis and reasoning in preparation for modelling/acting/whatever turn out to be a benefit when it comes to the 'profession' of 'life-coaching'. When people hand over actual cash to have someone act as a nosey mother-in-law, I feel like society is about to self destruct. What are they paying for? Amateur opinion/advice on subjects limited to the life coach's specialty of... everything? In-fact I don't know who I hold in greater contempt, the coach or the customer. I guess the good news is if you have no mates you can effectively buy one for $200 an hour.

How to be a Downhill Legend
Step 1. Get someone to take a photo of you doing something average.


Step 2. Make it Steeper in photoshop - and remove any other evidence of averageness.


Step 3. Make it faster.



Let the world behold your legendariness.

Is this what Defence minister Brendan Nelson meant when he said the Army doesn't compromise on equipment?
On display at the Formula 1 this weekend was "Armygeddon", a 6-wheel drive burnout machine loosely based on a standard Australian Army Land Rover Defender. Importantly it can achieve 24 combinations of burnout from it's six driven wheels. Cost $350,000. The look on Osama's face when the Aussies clean up in the burnout comp at the inaugural Kabul drags: priceless.